Amazingly Awesome things, part 3

Day 19-24
10/19/18
Day 19 of Amazingly Awesome things:

1) I’m unusually tired and kind of blah today, and I still managed to get through the entire day and enjoy most of it. I got Noa to the park for a bit, and she napped so I had a moment to myself. We went over to our friends’ house for a play date and had a really nice time.

2) I wrote a gratitude list. I write one word columns in a notebook, using gel pens of different bright colors. I’ve been doing that daily list for about 14-15 years off and on. It’s grown from 5 things to more than a hundred. When I’m consistent, it shows up in my every day life by shifting my attitude and reframing all the things that could have been worse. That’s why my day wasn’t shitty, and was actually quite excellent. I encourage you to try it. Start with 3-5 things, and work your way up. Write them down and say them aloud if you want.

I express gratitude all day long. My kids and I have had a practice in the car on the way to school. They stopped getting into it lately, so I do it by myself. But what’s super cool is my ability to affect their energy just by saying them out loud. Even witnessing someone else’s gratitude has the power to transform. I’ll say things like, “I’m grateful they let me pass, I’m grateful for my Yerba maté, and there’s that funny ghost! I love that.”

3) I’m comfortable and warm, and suddenly recognized that privilege. As much as I’ve complained about apartment living, the place we’re in is safe and secure, we have heat and light and blankets, plenty of food in our fridge. I drive by plenty of folks who don’t have any of that, many of them cold and vigilant, afraid and alone. I’m blessed to have a place to call home.

*Bonus: I’m getting better at creating space to care for my needs, and deepening my understanding of what it’s like to consistently set clear boundaries. I had an epiphany tonight. If I feel like people (like my kids) are expecting too much of me, I have a choice to just not do all of what’s expected. Sometimes I say I’m not willing to do something, but have been doing it anyway, angry at them for trying to push boundaries. What if I just said “No”? My kids would be very upset at first, and I might even hear lots of protest with screaming or yelling. Then what? Well, they would know that’s my limit because my “No” would mean “No”.

Did y’all know that “No” is a complete sentence? I heard that a long time ago, but have never truly implemented it into my daily life like I’m about to do now. No, I won’t do that. Not I can’t or please stop asking me. Just NO. Not only does that allow me to take good care of myself, it helps provide clear, consistent limits for my children. As much as I’ve enjoyed saying “Yes” as a practice in relaxing restrictions and indulging from time to time, I still need that No. I’ll probably get plenty of practice tomorrow, and the next day.

May your dreams bring pleasure, insight, and intrigue. May you get all the sleep you need, and wake up ready for a fresh new day. Good night. 💤✨🌙💜

10/20/18
Day 20 of Amazingly Awesome things:

1) In the midst of a day that started rough and felt hopeless, I saw a friend at the park who was like a bright light. I didn’t even tell her how hard things were with my kids today, but when I shared about something else, she listened and reflected on her own experience. I hadn’t seen her in a while, was just thinking about her, then she so happened to be at the park. How about that for synchronicity?

2) I admitted when I made mistakes. And boy howdy, did I make quite a few this particular day. My attitude could use a little adjustment, and hormones have been controlling me. But I had the wherewithal to be honest and make amends. It was like climbing Mt Everest without any gear. I’m all banged up, but I just kept trudging, and here I am.

3) I’m fiercely sentimental, and make deep connections with lots of music. I listened to Indigo Girls while cooking dinner. Let’s just say every lyric spoke to me. They’ve got the knack to launch me into a reverie with so many of their songs, so I downloaded as many as I could.

Speaking of downloading songs, I just got Apple Music and I’m so impressed. I have a 3 month trial and I’m devouring the tunes. I also finally got Shazam, so I can identify any song anywhere. It’s incidentally connected to Apple Music. I hope that all of the artists get enough compensation for it, because I love having all that talent at my fingertips.

*Bonus: I just pulled off a gratitude list and 3 amazingly awesome things after a day from hell. Miracles do happen. 💫🔮💗

10/21/18
Day 21 of Amazingly Awesome things:

1) I made banana pancakes this morning, and only looked at the clock once or twice. Although I had another early wake up that felt intrusive, I managed to turn everything around by staying present and being determined to have a better day.

I’m an excellent cook, and have a knack for creating all kinds of delicious meals. Apparently making pancakes is not as easy for me. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the precision needed with some of the ingredients, and the fact that I’m distracted by two tiny humans. But this morning, I used a familiar recipe and was fairly uninterrupted, so the experience was ok and the pancakes were worth the effort. They’re mighty tasty. 😋

2) We finally went on a hike here in Eugene. We hiked up Wild Iris Ridge, which is a fairly easy one with littles. I initially thought we ran out of parking spaces, but decided to turn around to try again and there was a spot.

I took a load of gorgeous pictures of the landscape and my happy children. We saw llamas in a field next to the trail at the very beginning, so that was a good sign. The leaves are in full autumn splendor 🍂, sun shining and bright blue skies. There are tons of wild blackberry bushes, so I’m already making plans for Spring. It must be covered in wild flowers (iris, I suspect). 🌷🌸🌻 We came home happy, hungry, and tired in a good way. I clearly enjoy moving my body, and my body agrees with me. I will need to continue that trend with dancing and so on, as the weather gets colder and darker. For now, I’ll take the glorious sunshine, crisp cold morning air, and contented friends romping around our hills. ☀️🍂🍃🍁💗

3) I took the girls out to the playground, and we saw our neighbor friends, a fellow mama and her little girl. It was so nice to reconnect with them. I loved spontaneously meeting up and staying out until 6pm. We had leftovers and freshly baked muffins, late baths and all is well. I’m so glad I redirected them to the outdoors, instead of allowing a DVD.

I decided to forgo any more movies for the girls during our time of pleasant weather. In the last month or so, I’ve been letting them have way more screen time than I usually would. The cumulative effects of that indulgence and the inevitable consequences are showing up in our every day lives, and I’m no longer willing to take that chance. It was mutually beneficial in the short term, in that I would prepare meals or do some self-care like meditate. But what started as 30 minutes turned into 2 hours! Anyone who knows me as a parent would be shocked. Lol 😂 Anyway, Daniel Tiger and Mr Rogers aside, that’s way too long to be stuck to a screen. Nature provides much more. Orion climbed a tree today. 🌲

*Bonus: I calmly clipped Noa’s nails in about 5 minutes, just before bedtime. Like Orion at her age, Noa is terrified of nail clipping. I kept trying to do it while she slept, but her little hands were tucked into her chest and she kept stirring.

The key to getting her nails clipped without a complete meltdown and shrill screams was all about my attitude. I went into it decidedly calm, and was consistent in my approach. I gave her crystals, comforted her, clipped as efficiently as possible with her writhing fingers, and we were done. Thank goddess! I even accidentally cut her pinkie and she handled it so well. We got a Hello Kitty bandaid and I cut it into a tiny strip. She thought the teeny tiny bandaid was so cool. 😻

And so it is…another day over and life is good. My theme today seems to be about attitude shift and choosing to do what feels good and makes me happy. Yay for so-overs, every single day. 🌸

May you snuggle up and snooze with the coziest blankets, dreaming of happy things and adventures to come. 💤✨🌙💜

Day 22 of Amazingly Awesome things:

1) I stayed at school this morning to support a new parent friend, and it helped me, too. People need to hear that they’re not alone, that we are all in this together, and that this too shall pass. I hope she left feeling these things, and knowing that she and her family are loved and supported always. I feel like I made a deep connection that will blossom into a lasting friendship. 🌸💜

2) I love to stretch my body, mind, and spirit. I’ve been feeling sore the last few days, and my body is appreciating a stretch or two. My mind is constantly expanding, revealing information and insight to me.

Who is that one who is me? I suppose I could refer to that as spirit. When I stretch and grow spiritually, I lead with my heart. Did you know that our heart can affect others, and has its own energy body? I’m not even sure if I’m saying that right, but the point is that it’s powerful and I’m paying attention. ❤️

3) I’m feeling my life’s purpose here and there. It’s still somewhat elusive, but I have a tip of the tongue sensation kind of knowledge of what it might be. In other words, I’m feeling a sense of what I’m supposed to be doing here for this lifetime. More will be revealed in time.

*Bonus: We got to hang out for a spontaneous play date with our school friends today. It’s so great getting to know each other better, and make future plans. Yay for friends! 💝

I’m extra tired tonight. I even fell asleep nursing Noa this afternoon. Remember Facebook folks, looking at a screen is not good sleep hygiene. Hope you like my post then get your booties to bed. Lol 😂 But seriously, taking care of yourself is important and you’re worth it. Muah! 😘

Day 23 of Amazingly Awesome things:

1) I’m being so consistent and following through. Doing gratitudes of any kind is pretty rad anyway, but to write down and publicly share every single day takes commitment and dedication. Accountability to myself keeps coming up for me lately, and I’m doing all the things I say I’m going to do.

Being grateful transforms my attitude. I’m calmer and happier as a result, and that’s good for me and everyone close to me.

2) I had an easy, “go with the flow” day. I didn’t consider it lazy or unproductive, I just chose to not do too much and it’s totally ok. I love that I’m not worried about all the stuff I gotta do.

3) I got confirmation that my intuition about setting boundaries is right on. Isn’t it grand when we can trust ourselves? That means I knew the answer to her question before she said anything. That means I’m confident about how I’ll approach the situation, because a part of me already knows how to handle it.

*Bonus: I’m being succinct! Back in my school days, my most formidable writing challenges were summaries. I was never sure of how to give a brief synopsis of what the author was conveying. I’d include copious details that were unnecessary. Yay me for getting to the point.

Good night! Sleep well, my friends. ✨💗

Day 24 of Amazingly Awesome things:

1) I’m witnessing myself growing and expanding. I just briefly commented on some thread after seeing a photo gallery and story of a lioness sparing a baby baboon from certain death. Some of the comments were atrocious and others were heartwarming. It was a veritable mess, honestly. Well, instead of feeling disheartened by the lack of humanity and kindness, I was kind and compassionate. Then, after some weird and pretty rude reaction from someone, I lovingly set a boundary and detached. And I really did let it go, which is pretty phenomenal. I typically get fairly disturbed by the mean and nastiness people tend to show in online discussions. I’ve had a hard time looking away in the past. This time, I disengaged. I’m healthier as a result.

Here’s what’s up with all of that, and why it’s important for me. I care about my own well being. I also care about how we all treat each other, because we are a global community. The other crucial change is that I really don’t worry about what she thinks of me or if she takes it to heart. I’m not here to convince them of anything. But if we are in a community, I’m going to participate in our improvement. I won’t allow people to just spew all that garbage and let it eat me alive. I want to live, just like the baby baboon. And I don’t just want to live, I want to thrive. I can only do that if I speak my truth. I’ll have more to say about all of that again, I’m sure. I’m finally stepping into my truth, and I’m no longer afraid of the pushback. I feel like I just walked through some magic doorway. Way to go social media, you just helped me practice boundary setting again. Lol.

2) I’m grateful I’m sensitive. In contrast to letting some comment roll off my back, I recognize the value of my sensitive side. I feel *all* of those feels. I even feel the feeling’s feels. Lol. But seriously, I do have a tender heart because of it. I’m not always comfortable with my sensitivities, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ll keep practicing better ways to live with that. I plan to lead with my heart until after it stops beating and my body is dust. ❤️

3) I talked with Orion about life and death, about our bodies, how they’re useful to us now but will eventually turn to dust. Essentially, I had a little chat with her about impermanence and enjoying the present moment. She’s been super concerned about not having “stuff”. So I gave her examples of things I adored that I’ve lost. I had just broken a mug I had managed to keep around for about 20 years. But it was time to let it go. Everything that came out of my mouth seemed to be divinely inspired. I’m not sure I could even relay it to you now. All I know is that I reached a part of her I’m sure she had forgotten, and I reminded myself at the same time.

It all started with her crying about some sparkly kitty ears I had given her. She wanted the kind Noa had chosen, then they traded and those ears were breaking. We all break down eventually, I told her.

That’s when I gave her some of the real deal. Life isn’t about the plastic kitty ears, it’s about the laugh and smile when you wear them. It isn’t about collecting more stuff, it’s about being here, right now. All stuff goes away. People die. So why waste your time on lack when you have so much to live for?

*Bonus: talking to my child about life and death and presence has reminded me to walk that walk. What do I really want? I was asked that in my favorite psychic reading group. I reflected on that all afternoon, and saw clearly what I really want, and what I’m doing instead. Hmmm. What I really want was so clear, I think it’s time I start doing it. What better time to live than right NOW?

Be here now. It’s easier than trying to be there later. Ok, I’m tired. Goodnight all. ✨🦋🌈🦄🌸💜